In the church at Corinth a question appears to have risen concerning whether the members of the community of faith should marry or refrain from marriage in expectation of Jesus return. Paul's response in 1 Corinthians 7 can be outlined as speaking to the following questions.
A. Does marriage still serve a purpose as followers wait for the impending return of Jesus and how should believers married to non-believers behave toward their spouses?
B. What is Paul's understanding of abstinence for himself and in marriage?
C. What does marriage accomplish? How does it relate to the work of the gospel?
D. How is this a good? How is Paul's advice to those who are married similar to his advice to other believers? See circumcision and slavery.
E. What is the purpose of allowing or even encouraging marriage? And how does it impact devotion to God?
Paul sees marriage as an undue burden on the Gospel and devotion to God's work. It is best to be celibate so that there are no distractions from the work of witnessing to the Gospel. In contrast being married is a huge responsibility because it presumes that one is completely given to another person and that the needs of that person become the natural end of true self giving love. The husband's body is the wife's and the wife's body is the husband's. Neither husband's nor wife's body belongs only to themselves any longer but each one to the other. To withhold oneself from one's partner must only occur by mutual consent and this is for only a time for the purpose of devotion in prayer to God (v. 5). Paul understands people enjoy sex and can be filled with passion. Marriage therefore in Paul's eyes is a firewall against unrestrained passion and a lack of self-control leading to chaos and disruption in the community thus hindering the promotion of the Gospel. Paul understands marriage not as a necessity for he remains celibate but rather a means of restraining the passions and temptations of the flesh (v. 5b), a way of maintaining good order. He calls his thoughts on marriage a concession and not a command and acknowledges both his abstinence and others' marriage are unique gifts.
Paul then continues seeing in the marriage between a believer and non-believer the possibility that God can work for the salvation of the non-believer. If the non-believer wishes to leave the marriage Paul counsels to let them go. If, however, they are willing to stay then one should remain married and fill all the responsibilities of a spouse because through the relationship their partner may come to Christ. Faith may follow through a faithful and loving witness of the married believer, only God knows (v.16).
For believers Paul encourages the maintenance of other relationships as they are (v.17,18-28) and circumcised or not, slave or not is irrelevant in God's kingdom because we can serve wherever and however we were when God called us. In other words the work of the Gospel is preeminent over all conditions of life. If freedom is possible for the the slave, good, take your freedom because being free you can better serve the Gospel but if one is not a freeman do not worry because you are already free in Jesus Christ.
Paul closes by noting that to marry is not sin even if he, Paul, thinks life is simpler for those who are not married (v. 33-36). Expecting the return of Christ he encourages a chaste and celibate life but releases those who feel the pressure of age and commitment to a fiance` the freedom to marry as she or he is given to do.
Looking at 1 Corinthians 7 we see that Paul is always most concerned for the work of the Gospel and God's kingdom. He, also, recognizes how the realities of human life intrude and constrain what the individual is able to do. He will not disparage those who are attempting to be faithful within their circumstances. That includes faithfulness to God's work while simultaneously guiding and shaping their passions, thus establishing good order and control.
How then can these verses help us to maintain primacy of the work of the kingdom by uncovering new ways for gay and lesbian brothers and sisters to control passion and self-centered service of the flesh. In other words, can marriage serve this same purpose for gays and lesbians exactly as Paul conceives marriage is at work for the unions of men and women.
Note that in 1 Corinthian 7 Paul places no emphasis on marriage for bringing forth children but rather on husbands and wives meeting each others needs. These needs include both physical and emotional intimacy. The body of each belongs to the other. Each is given to the care and love of the other. Through this mutual ownership there is a presumption against promiscuity and abandonment to self-centered servicing of the flesh. To give oneself to another outside of marriage takes what belongs to one's partner and gives it away. It is a type of theft. Understanding marriage in this manner is something that can be fulfilled by gays and lesbians and, also, brings the discipline and selfless living Paul promoted into their lives. The result is therefore an increase in order and a freeing of the individual to grow in service of the Gospel. Commitment to real marital union, intimacy and steadfast faithfulness thus benefits the work of Christ and the kingdom of God for both straight and gay.
It is at this point important to note that none of the traditional marriage vows are unable to be fulfilled by gay and lesbian couples. "In the presence of God and this community I ____, take you, ____, to be my wife/husband; to have and to hold from this day forward, in joy and in sorrow, in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, as long as we both shall live. This is my solemn vow." (ELW) There is no expression of specific carnal relations in these binding vows.
The expectations of marital fidelity for gays and lesbians should be no different than it is for straight marriages. The marital union until death do us part is the closest to divine promise and covenant that two people can share.
And yet sometimes those promises fail. They fail because we all fall short of the glory of God not because they are promises between hetero or homo sexual couples. So to this we must say, "May God's grace continue to heal our sins."
Is the union of gay and lesbian couples the primary vision of the Bible for marriage and the creating and development of families and new generations? No, but it can serve the kingdom of God by increasing order and space for the proclamation of the Gospel and it restrains self-centeredness in the flesh and promotes an increased understanding of what it means to be called to lay one's life down for another. I believe these are things Paul would celebrate and can be sufficient reasons for us to join in the celebration.
It is even possible, no, rather it is a responsibility for us to call our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters to marriage so that order may reign and excess passion be restrained for the sake of the Gospel. It is possible we have been focused on the wrong side of this issue for far, far too long. The Spirit is blowing and the Word of God can show us the way.